Every moment I spend with my brother makes me miss him even more. Though I know that he'll always be my brother, I live in constant fear of losing him. He is the singlemost important person in my life. I guess this is eating away at me because everything else I thought would be permanent has proven to be temporary, thus exposing my insecurity about the permanence of anything, including family and even self-love.
Maybe it's just because it's 5:30 a.m. and I'm still awake, but I sure am terrified and depressed about everything right now. Today was much better, but honestly I hate being in Albuquerque despite my brother's presence and the exciting attention paid to me by famous rock stars, and I want nothing more than to go back to camp and then move right along to my next place of residence.